VICTORIA:
In movies about women written by men
The secret to life is plastic
When the gossip stops, we shop til we drop
Order Thai, and look fantastic

CHRIS:
In real life, you can't cure a heartache
With fancy takeout and chocolate cake

PLACID:
In real life, there's more to feeling fine
Than an expensive purse and a bottle of wine

CHRIS, VICTORIA: WHOO!

PLACID, PRICE:
Be strong, we can overcome
Years of Working Girl putting us on

PRICE:
To make it in this world, you need a concrete chin
Not a "head for business and a bod for sin".

PRICE, CHRIS, VICTORIA, PLACID:
I'm sick of movies about women written by men, hey!

GORGISSIMA:
Did I hear ladies talking about shopping?

PRICE, CHRIS, VICTORIA, PLACID:
Hey!

GORGISSIMA:
Oh, you did. You went shopping without me! I hate you!

VICTORIA:
Gorgissima, look! For Latin Night at the club tonight: Oscar De La Renta!

GORGISSIMA:
Wow, how fabulous! I really, really hate you.

PRICE:
In movies about women written by men
Clever means curt and petty
Whispered words about boys and clothes
Are enough to turn us catty

CHRIS:
In real life, we can work it out
We've got more important things to worry about.

PLACID:
In real life, it's understood:
You don't have to wear Oscar to look hella good.

VICTORIA:
What?
Um, if you had a problem with my dress, Placid, you could have said something in the store, like before I dropped t***d dollars on it.

PLACID:
Oh, Victoria, that is NOT what I meant.

VICTORIA:
Then what did you mean? You know, mastering the Bedazzler doesn't exactly make you the President of Taste.

PRICE:
Okay, girls, just agree to disagree.

PLACID: But I didn't -

PRICE, CHRIS, GORGISSIMA:
Hey!

VICTORIA:
But I only -

PRICE, CHRIS, GORGISSIMA:
Hey! Hey!

PRICE:
Pass the chicken tikka makhni to me, and agree to disagree!

CHRIS, PLACID, VICTORIA, GORGISSIMA:
WHOO!

PLACID, PRICE:
Be strong, we can overcome
Years of Steel Magnolias putting us on

PRICE:
"If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!"

PRICE, CHRIS, VICTORIA, PLACID, GORGISSIMA:
I'm sick of movies about women written by men, hey!

I'm sick of movies about women written by men
Sick of books about women written by men
Sick of jokes about women written by men
Sick of T V about women written by men
Sick of theater about women written by men
Sick of songs about women written by men
Sick of movies about women written by men
Yes I am, yes I am, yes I really really am, hey!

PRICE:
Should we call the guys?

GORGISSIMA:
Oh, you mean you didn't hear?

PLACID:
Our three party boys overdid it on the beer
And threw down with some bar yuppies twice their size

GORGISSIMA:
Only Tank could postpone their untimely demise.

PLACID:
So let the boys recover.

CHRIS:
Yeah, if I know D
He's sitting home in the dark feeling guilty

PLACID:
Sounds about right.
And if I know Jonah
He's fast asleep on the chair in the corner

GORGISSIMA:
Ha, more like passed out.

PRICE:
Maybe so, but if I know Grub
He's laying on his bed writing songs about -

PLACID:
Fucking?

PRICE:
Love!

PLACID:
Honey, Grub doesn't write songs about love. He writes songs about fucking. There, you hear that? Listen.